I know you want...
...a BENNIFER update.
ARRIVEDERCI
The 6pm pre-award show slot seems to be over…. and so does the award show (you’ll have to find another time to grossly over-order Chinese food). Ryan Seacrest departed the E! award show earlier this year and now Giuliana Rancic is bidding adieu to the beloved task of asking “Who are you wearing?” (Don’t make me watch the NBC/ABC pre-show!!)… This news happened just weeks before NBC announced yesterday that they will not air the Golden Globes next year… (Why do we need the HFPA to have an award show? Let’s have a different organization run the event? Heck it doesn’t even have to be film related… all we care about are the dresses…So…Baby2Baby? Brad Pitt’s NOLA charity, Sean Penn’s Philanthropy….). ALSO is this the first time that Hollywood is listening to Tom Cruise?
BENNIFER BENNIFER BENNIFER BENNIFER BENNIFER
Hold your breath until they confirm it’s true but BENNIFER may be back and if they are don’t get excited because you won’t be able to see them at award shows!! JK it’s super exciting… (What a big FUCK YOU to A-ROD… he was so gross that she had to go back to her alcoholic ex who also happens to have an UGGO back tattoo of a phoenix taking flight…) We can try to be optimistic but it’s just a matter of time before it’s over…. anyway, the two were spotted over the weekend in Montana. We can all agree, though, that Bennifer is WAY better than Brangelina (less toxicity).
^sorry i ruined Ben Affleck for you^
Can I get a ride?
The Washington Post hired Sally Buzzbee (Does she grow honey?) of the AP to take over the newsroom… Buzzbee succeeds Marty Baron (Liev Schreiber) who left the Post earlier this year. The WP publisher, Fred Ryan, says that she also spoke with the Post’s owner, Jeff Bezos, about the job. Perhaps her first question was, “If I take on this responsibility can I take a ride on your yacht’s yacht?” (Taking remote work to a new level!)
Open for business!
Hail to the Queen!! Lizzy opened Parliament today with Charles and Camilla by her side… Everyone was masked up but the Q… (Did the Queen have to open Parliament because Boris Johnson was too busy brushing his hair?)
International House of Milkshakes?
A waitress at a Long Island outpost of IHOP didn’t recognize Adam Sandler (he doesn’t look like most people…) and made him wait a whopping 30 minutes for a table last month. Fed up (like any Jew with a long wait) Sandler left the restaurant. When Tik Tok revealed the incident, Sandler politely tweeted he only left because the all-you-can-eat deal didn’t apply to the milkshakes (Perhaps, it’s because they don’t have enough toilets to accommodate everyone?) NOW, the restaurant is declaring May 10th “all-you-can-eat” milkshake day. (Summer bodies are not made on May 10th)
An exciting day for eligible women everywhere….
John Mulaney is separating from his wife (she looks like Zoey Deutch) Anna Marie Tendler (He’s in rehab but doing better….). His statement is the good ole, “don’t talk to me, I want privacy thing…” and her statement translates to “he is a fucking asshole and left me blindsided…. (Just sucks that Nick Kroll just tied the knot and had a kid… we could have had a real “OH HELLO” moment.)
Put this in the category of “SNOOZE.”
Chris Cuomo and Don Lemon are launching a podcast “directly inspired by their online banter.” The show called “The Handoff” will allow the anchors to chat “with no broadcast clock to hold them back…. stepping out from behind their anchor desks to come together and ignite even more personal and hot topic conversations. Nothing is off limits…” (Except of course any conversation involving Andrew Cuomo)
Hit me baby one more time…
The Today Show meteorologist, Dylan Dreyer (the fake Al Roker) is expecting a third baby for Thanksgiving. This is Dreyer’s third boy….. (her husband is a camera guy for the Nightly News with Lester)
Meet Jeff’s BFF… Alexa!
And…. the voice behind the Amazon “ALEXA” (as in “Alexa, please tell me the weather outside.” or “Alex, shut up!) is a voiceover actress named Nina Rolle from Boulder, Co. Apparently, Rolle is “not allowed to talk” (maybe because she is too busy answering the people’s questions…). She definitely gets a ride on the yacht.